A thousand and one stories #10 Assumption

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This day is done for. Why do you assume?

You assume too much, pretend to know things that aren’t there. 

How do you think I discovered my girlfriend? I looked across at the pathetic girl burying her head in a book. And mind you the pathetic part was an assumption. But what can I say, my assumptions always turn out to be right. I knew all she wanted in her life was to have a good time. Oh and we did have that because I always assumed right. So I knew the right things to say, the right things to do. It was so stupid, she thought she was falling for a fool. But I knew all the triggers, the right ways to get her happy and make her spread her legs. Even if she heard it now, there’s no way she would believe. I am always right in my assumptions, you see?

Like I assume you are lonely, want nothing but to feel, another person’s skin on your skin. And I see you starting at my pathetic girl but mind you pathetic as she may be, she’s still my girl. And I can assume you’re scared of making a choice always in your life. It just shows, you lack a spine.

But it’s fine.

Not everyone can be like me.

I’m the only awesome person but then again, I’m assuming.

And you know how that always pans out for me.

He couldn’t, just couldn’t stop smirking at it.

I’ve been delegating my work to that stupid secretary. All she wants is my attention, whatever way she could get it. And my boss just adores someone who could stand up to him. Life’s goin good darling as long as I keep assuming.

There’s this neighbour of mine with a stupid lil bitch who just wouldn’t stop barking at a tree. The neighbour itself, I assume is mad at it. So I keep feeding it some sleeping pills.

Hello, yeah? Who is it? I’m fired? No, that can’t be it. The boss doesn’t like my misuse of authority? No, he’s just mad at his wife and taking it out on me.

Hey neighbour, what are you doing? Is that my car? What are you doing breaking it?

You fuckin made my dog sick. You asshole being.

God no, You’re just mad you haven’t MADE it in the world like me.

Hello darlin, I’m just having such a low day, would you come and soothe away my pain?

We’re over. I heard what you were telling your friend. I am NOT PATHETIC. It is you who is that way.

Slut girl,  I know you’ve been fuckin behind my back.

Why, why is everything going so bad?

It’s just the goddamn universe lashing out at me. For always knowing things it doesn’t want me knowing.

I assume things will go right by tonight.

A gas leak, his body burnt.

Karma, everyone assumed.


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Meet the person who inspired these Vardhan Chronicles @SidharthVardhan

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