Dear Home is a person, not a place,
I want you to wake up next to me every morning(not the other way around) until the day I leave. It’s a selfish wish out in the universe made for the sole purpose of existing next to someone else during the only loneliest time in the day. It’s 4 am and I’m on a hotel floor thinking of leaning on your shoulder but you’re miles away and so is everyone else. I’m not alone over here but it’s the loneliest I’ve felt in this past week. Sleep-starved, half-dazed with no coffee in my body, the only person my mind resorts to for momentary distraction is you. It keeps me awake when loud music can’t. It keeps loneliness away like eighty people in a room can’t.
I’m supposed to call you like you said I should but you’re asleep and I care about your well-being more than your wishes. I’ve been told to stop doing that since everyone can decide what’s best for them but somehow I just can’t break the habit of thinking about you above myself.
It’s early morning and I can hear the road. It calls to me like it always does but here I am with a pen in my handwriting things that my heart can’t hold. My hands can’t hold the pen straight, quite like my mind with its thoughts but all of it is still going on.
I feel all cold inside even though it’s hot outside like the middle of July and I just wanna share a room with you, not even sit too close but just stare at you straight and hard like I do with no shame. Because it brings a warm feeling inside, something like chicken soup when you’re sick. My eyes are tired now and I can’t see what shape my fingers are making but darling, I have you to stay with me tonight. Now I wish everyone else had someone too.